I wish I was dead too often...I feel lonely and lost...unsure of what to do. Can someone give me advise?

I'm a woman in her 30s, married and mother of 2 children. For the last 2 years I've been wishing I was dead. Too often. Sometimes I wish I had the strength to do it myself. I'm unhappy and feel lonely all the time. My family isn't close to me, my mother has always hated me. I'm in a loveless marriage and I feel it is too late for me to start new with someone else. For the last few years I've been wanting to be alone. I've been wanting to get divorced. I feel like no matter what I do I hurt someone, whether myself or someone else (my husband, my children). I feel unloved by everyone around me, have very little friends and the only 2 people I know love me for sure are my kids. There is no pion in my life nor my marriage. I feel like I'm living in a cage, like my husband holds me down like weights because I don't love him and I feel if I leave him I hurt the 2 most precious people I love in the world (my kids). Most days I feel regretful and resentful about my past and present. Wishing I could go back in time and redo things again, allow opportunities that came my way but I never took. I don't know what to do or how to deal with how I feel. I really wish my life would just end. I feel like people would be better off without me. And I feel this way too often. Deep inside me I want to be and feel happy, I just don't know how to do that.